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The act of validation, simply saying, 'I can see things from your perspective,' can short-circuit that emotional detour.” ― “So at family gatherings… Indeed, I discover that the less I say, the happier everyone seems to be with me.
I sometimes wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off as a paraplegic or afflicted by some tragic form of cancer.
I'm also getting better at keeping another dialectic in mind: On the one hand, the disorder decimates all relationships and social functions, so you're basically wandering in the wasteland of your own failure, and yet you have to keep walking through it, gathering the small bits of life that can eventually go into creating a life worth living.
To be in the desolate badlands while envisioning the lush tropics without being totally triggered again isn't easy, especially when life seems so effortless for everyone else.” ― “I’ve read that, for some borderlines, the flip side of abandonment fear is the fear of engulfment.
But when you get it, you have no existence except that love; there’s still no you.” ― “Accepting a psychiatric diagnosis is like a religious conversion.
When we accept our humanness, we become able to apologize (not grovel) for having been rude, insensitive, or dishonest.
Yes, I’ve had periods of relative stability, but the whole concept of “recovery” brings up some painful questions. With drug addiction, you hear that you can recover and reclaim your former self, the person you were before you started using. ” ― “I may have no emotional skin and come undone at the smallest interpersonal upset, but I’d make a great bullfighter or firefighter—anything that gets my adrenaline going and focuses me on a physical target. When I’m on the bike, it feels like a door opens in my chest and the world rushes in, pure, fresh, and sparkling with clarity.
With other psychiatric illnesses, getting rid of symptoms means you’re more or less back to “yourself.” But what if you simply don’t have a solid self to return to—if the way you are is seen as basically broken? It forces me to approach fear with total awareness and to pull reason mind into the moment of intense reactions.” ― “he wants to know what will give me hope again. “If I have hope, I’m only going to get crushed again,” I say tearfully. “But that’s the biggest setup of all.” ― “often feel like I’m regressing.
It’s another one of those “screwed if you do, screwed if you don’t” situations.
All you want is love and belonging, and your very existence depends on it.